Sandy beaches and dolphins...sort of

Si Phan Dong, "Four Thousand Islands", lies at the far southern tip of Laos. I had heard the spot was wonderful for backpackers and had dolphins. I was picturing beautiful sandy beaches with dolphins jumping in front of a beautiful sunset. Then I realized: A) Laos has no coast with the ocean...minor point B) I was not going to Sea World. Si Phan Dong is wonderful, but very different. The islands lie right on the Mekong river and the water is, essentially, mud. The first island on which we stayed is fondly known as 'Huts-R-Us'; twelve almost identical sets of huts line the coast. We passed on the hut that was $0.25 per person per night and splurged, paying $1 each! 'Rural' does not begin to encapsulate the state of our location. We did have electricity--but only three hours a day and powered by huge, noisy gasoline generators. Our toilets were holes in the ground (no bidet or toilet paper) and the shared showers were icy. I was OK with the accommodations until I spotted a spider the size of my hand in the corner. I grabbed Carmen's shoe, then thought better of it and switched to mine--I have to keep Carmen; I don't have to keep my shoe. When Carmen spotted a roach climbing the kerosene lamp--our only source of light at that point--she reacted logically: yelled for me to fix it and turned away. If you can't see it, it ain't there.

One night, the bar across town was playing music loudly, so I put ear plugs in before going to sleep. The next morning Carmen was not pleased.

"What'd I do?"
"You don't remember me waking you up when I felt a wet nose on my leg? I think it was a rat."
"I'm sorry. I had ear plugs in. How would a rat get in here?"
"Let's see: the holes in the walls, the roof, the floor, the door, the window. You'd be sorry if a rat ran away with me!"
"Carm, a rat is not going to kidnap you."
"You never know. It could have been big!"

I didn't see the rat; I was sure it wasn't there....until that night. Lounging in the hammock on the balcony, we spotted the biggest rat I have ever seen, seven feet above us. I yelled to scare it away (and because I was scared myself). It fled...into our hut. And no, I didn't tell Carmen.

At least the hut only cost $2.

The next day, we moved to the bigger island. I had calculated that it was Carmen's half birthday. I told her I wanted to celebrate her being 22 and a half by allowing her to stay some place with decent accomodations. She reminded me that you stop counting half birthdays at age seven. I dragged her to the nicest guest house I could find--it actually had walls, hot water and A/C! Carmen was literally outraged that I was planning on spending $15 on accomodations. "But we didn't even look at the other place!" -- which was listed in the guide book at costing $1 per person. If I couldn't use her half-birthday as an excuse, I was prepared to admit the truth: "Carmen. I want to stay here tonight. I do a lot better psychologically if I can have hot water and cold air once a month." She finally relented.

I was so excited about the A/C I put it to freezing that night. It's never been so good to shiver.